The Long Arm of the Law

In an overstuffed chair in a quiet corner of the library, there's a disconsolate tangle of young man. He's been through all the books he can find on the subject of strange translocations and interdimensional portals, and is no wiser for it. Now he sits with his head in his hands, his elbows sticking out too far and his unnaturally long legs tucked up like a dejected spider's.